Rules of Da Sauna:     1. Sit on ta pench at yuu own rrrisk     2. Memper tis: tuu muts teem kets yuu real tissy. Yuu dumbel town ant prake yuu pones     3. If svet kets in yuu eyes, chust plink a coppla dimes.     4. If yuu kets a sliffer in yuu packside from ta pench, ton’t holler tuu lowt. Naypers vil tink vee putersing a pic,        ant pee looken for pork sops next ay, ant rit avay pe ton?’     5. Vhen yuu all ton (or yuu lips on ta sop), pudit inta sop tis. Ton’t leaf it melden onta pench.     6. If yuu get tuu hot, ko chump in ta lake!     7. Ven man and veman ko sauna, rule tis, pehave in sauna as yuu wood in church.!

Translation     1. Sit on the bench at your own risk     2. Remember this: too much stream gets you dizzy. You tumble down and break your bones.     3. If sweat gets in your eyes just blink a couple of times!     4. If you get a sliver in your backside from the bench, don’t holler too laud. Neighbours will think we are butchering a pig,         and will be looking for pork chops the next, and right away be asking “ when the heck she’s be done?”     5. When you are all done ( or you slip on the soap ) put it in the soap dish. Don’t leave it melting on the bench!     6. If you get too hot, go jump in the lake!     7. When man and woman go Sauna, rule is, behave in Sauna as you would in the church!!